910-9:40
You would think I would be tired of Bonobo already...but I'm not. I just can't stop.
But I am tired.
Mexican food coma and the intense desire to be on the couch cuddling with my furry babies is so hard to fight. Yet, here I am, having completed my goal for today.
I have a complex. An issue with watching myself and letting my image guide and inspire me. Today I'm wearing men's sweats, long sleeves, a tshirt, and sweater. Bulkity bulk bulk. My image is not appealing. It does not motivate me to move my body in a way that feels and looks good. What my image says to me is...get to the couch and stop looking at this mess of a woman in the mirror.
I have high self esteem, always have. I don't know why. I mainly thank my parents for that. I feel like I've always been realistic about life, but I know that I like to mainly live in the perpetual imaginary land where everyone is good, hearts are kind, nothing bad can really happen" part of my mind. So it confuses me when I have such a negative response to my own unkemt image in the mirror. Dumb, I know. It kills my motivation. I don't focus. Or possibly I do but i'ts just on my outward appearance.
Why does image play such a part in how I feel about my practice, the animation and essence I put into my hooping, or anything else for that matter?
Because of this... my practice tonight was solely focused on repetition of specific skills. Tomorrow I'll make sure I put on a full face of makeup, do my hair, and wear some killer clothing before I bust out the hoop....or then again maybe not.
*note the sarcasm in the last line, please
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